In 1 Corinthians 7:33, Paul writes that married men are, or at least should be, concerned with how to please their wives. Paul assumes, remember he himself was not married, that seeking to please and care for a wife is going to take up a lot of a man's time, energy, and focus. This forces us to ask the question, "What does it look like to biblically care for my wife?"
1. Lead her to Jesus. A man who cares for his wife will point her heart, affections, and thoughts to Jesus. He will model what it looks like to pursue Christ while encouraging her to do the same. A caring husband will "wash his wife with the water of the Word" and continually point her to the "throne of grace." All the other ways a man can care for his wife hangs on pointing her to Christ. This is the most foundational and important way a husband can be caring. He will seek to help her remove the barriers that may come between her and worshiping Jesus--such as busyness, sin, the lies of the enemy, or discouragement. A husband may not have all the answers, but he can point to the One who does.
2. Carry her burdens. 1 Peter 3:7 tells men to "dwell with their wives in understanding." A caring husband will seek to be gentle towards his wife. A caring husband will be careful not to place any added burdens on his wife before helping her with the ones she may already be carrying. Her problems are not just her problems--they become a husband's burden as well. When your wife seems to be folding under the pressures of life, a caring husband will listen to her patiently as she talks about why she is struggling.
3. Provide for her. A caring husband will provide for his wife. This does not mean he has to or will make an exorbitant amount of money, but will strive to fulfill the command to "provide for his own." To show his loving care, a husband will not only provide for his wife's needs, but also some of her wants--provided they are reasonable and beneficial to her and their family's spiritual lives.
4. Serve her. A husband who cares for his wife well will not only serve and care for her publicly. He will serve her around the house. He will offer help with the everyday tasks that are involved with caring for a home and family. Sometimes the grand romantic gesture a husband can make is to wash the dishes or help fold the laundry. A caring husband's work doesn't end when he gets home--it is just starting.
5. Praise her. Proverbs 31 is widely used to display the character of a godly woman. But it also teaches us something about a caring husband. The husband in the proverb publicly speaks of his wife's character and qualities in a positive way. He praises her and speaks highly of who she is. A caring husband goes out of his way to encourage his wife, both in public and private, and will refrain from passive-aggressive statements about his wife in both public and private as well.
6. Show her affection. Caring husbands make sure to spend time alone with their wives. His actions and words will help build and sustain a sense of intimacy in their marriage. The first sexual relationship takes place in a garden--a fitting metaphor. Just as one must tend to and work a garden for it to grow and produce healthy fruit, a husband must give attention and tend to his wife's physical, emotional, and mental needs for their marriage to be healthy. A caring husband will be intentional in making sure his wife knows she is attractive to him, desired, and loved.
7. Be transparent with her. A wife will feel cared for when she knows that she can trust her husband. This trust can be built through frequent and open communication. Although a husband should use wisdom when talking about his struggles in certain areas, he will show his care and love for his wife by revealing parts of his heart, mind, and emotions that often do not get revealed to anyone else.
Like Jesus
Why do these things? Think about how Jesus treats you. When husbands care for their wives in these ways, they are reflecting how Christ has cared for them. Jesus leads us to salvation and makes it possible for us to worship God. He carries our burdens and richly provides for us. Jesus "did not come to be served, but to serve." He encourages us with promises from His Word and intercedes for us before the Father. Jesus loved us so deeply that He gave up his life for us. Christ openly and honestly gives instruction and reveals the character and nature of God for us to be in awe of. When we care for our wife in the above ways, we are loving them like Jesus loved us.
4. Serve her. A husband who cares for his wife well will not only serve and care for her publicly. He will serve her around the house. He will offer help with the everyday tasks that are involved with caring for a home and family. Sometimes the grand romantic gesture a husband can make is to wash the dishes or help fold the laundry. A caring husband's work doesn't end when he gets home--it is just starting.
5. Praise her. Proverbs 31 is widely used to display the character of a godly woman. But it also teaches us something about a caring husband. The husband in the proverb publicly speaks of his wife's character and qualities in a positive way. He praises her and speaks highly of who she is. A caring husband goes out of his way to encourage his wife, both in public and private, and will refrain from passive-aggressive statements about his wife in both public and private as well.
6. Show her affection. Caring husbands make sure to spend time alone with their wives. His actions and words will help build and sustain a sense of intimacy in their marriage. The first sexual relationship takes place in a garden--a fitting metaphor. Just as one must tend to and work a garden for it to grow and produce healthy fruit, a husband must give attention and tend to his wife's physical, emotional, and mental needs for their marriage to be healthy. A caring husband will be intentional in making sure his wife knows she is attractive to him, desired, and loved.
7. Be transparent with her. A wife will feel cared for when she knows that she can trust her husband. This trust can be built through frequent and open communication. Although a husband should use wisdom when talking about his struggles in certain areas, he will show his care and love for his wife by revealing parts of his heart, mind, and emotions that often do not get revealed to anyone else.
Like Jesus
Why do these things? Think about how Jesus treats you. When husbands care for their wives in these ways, they are reflecting how Christ has cared for them. Jesus leads us to salvation and makes it possible for us to worship God. He carries our burdens and richly provides for us. Jesus "did not come to be served, but to serve." He encourages us with promises from His Word and intercedes for us before the Father. Jesus loved us so deeply that He gave up his life for us. Christ openly and honestly gives instruction and reveals the character and nature of God for us to be in awe of. When we care for our wife in the above ways, we are loving them like Jesus loved us.