All content in the "Stories" series is provided by members of ALAG. This series will highlight testimonies of what the Lord is doing in and through our people.
Is Your Heart Two Sizes Small?
We are taught in Scripture to guard our heart with all vigilance. That's what we are responsible for. If we aren't careful what we look at, what we read, and what we listen to, our poor hearts will be filled with stuff that leads us down paths of destruction. The Bible tells us our heart is deceitful above all else. It also exhorts us to examine our heart. I know in the past when I began to look inward I was afraid of what I might find. I began to wrestle with the Lord instead of submitting to what the Holy Spirit was leading me into.
When fear begins to get a foothold, ugly things happen. Fear is a bully that lurks in dark places. But when confronted with the light of the truth, it quickly fades. But it doesn't leave entirely. Fear waits for another opportunity to raise its' lying head. Every time we believe the lie that fear presents to us, our heart shrinks a little more into that self-protective place we reserve for the lies we believe. It's a godless place that makes us feel unworthy of any use to God.
You may feel like your heart is so dark you don't even want to look there. But when you give in and begin examining, you will feel the work of the Holy Spirit drawing you. It's like sandpaper rubbing against your heart. The Lord is rubbing you smooth! It's very uncomfortable but he doesn't want you to remain in unbelief. And he certainly doesn't want your precious heart turning to stone.
Sometimes, I've been so busy protecting my stony heart that wrestling with the Lord has not produced the results it should have. As a result, I became full of self-hatred and a tyrant to myself.
But when I finally surrendered to what God had for me, a "turning" occurred. I began to see that self-protection is sin; it's not believing that Jesus is able and willing to change my heart. The big surrender was giving my whole heart to Jesus and asking him to be my Savior. Then the daily surrender began as he reveals the sin in my life. Each day, I have to say "yes" to his call of, "Come to me." He always woos us, in order to win us and restore us.
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